Chinese characters

We found an interesting source about the Peoples' Republic of China, viewed (critized by foreigners). Altough not updated, it's interesting to know more about our roots. (We're born outside China, fortunately)


You are Chinese (mostly from Mainland China) when :
1. you honk as much as you use the gas-pedal when you drive a car
2. you own a driver’s license, but you don’t know how to drive a car
3. you occasionally drive your car in the opposite direction
4. you tend to yell at policemen
5. you are able to transport a washing machine on your bicycle
6. you – at least once in your lifetime – transported a television or CRT-screen on your bicycle
7. you have to buy a car and/or an apartment before your girlfriend agrees to get married
8. your child is spoiled
9. you have a big family, but no brother and no sister
10. your parents can not read nor write
11. you don’t know how to raise a child
12. you give the baby to your parents after you gave birth
13. your husband has a concubine
14. your friends are all business-related contacts
15. your life goal is to be rich
16. you do anything for money
17. you do overtime for free
18. you pretend to work while on duty
19. you respect your boss, because he pays you for your time (read: not for your work)
20. you have a 30 minute lunch break and you nap in the office after you ate
21. you take holidays together with a whole bunch of other people
22. you applied for an internship in the US or Europe
23. you did not wear diapers as a baby
24. as a baby, you did wear pants with a hole in it and your crotch was cold all the time
25. you usually take a dump in a hole in the ground
26. you have a habit to put used toiletpaper in a bin next to the hole
27. you always carry a pack of tissues with you, at all time (public toilets have no toiletpaper as Chinese steal it)
28. your bin’s odor smells nicer than your breath
29. you save empty and used bottles, cans, paper and tin foil in designated area’s of your living room
30. it’s still not clean after you used the mopper
31. you never sit on the ground
32. you can collect a kilo of grease from your kitchen wall
33. your home is dirty
34. you never fix or maintain your equipment, once broke, allways broke
35. you only change light bulbs when the room is completely dark
36. none of your house-furniture fully works
37. you chew on chicken feet and pig tails
38. you eat fermentated eggs that boil in a nasty soup
39. you like to drink chinese or regular wine that tastes like crap
40. you swallow all the contents of your glass at once (bottoms up)
41. you have no problem to eat dogs, cats and rats
42. you make irritating, disgusting noises while eating with open mouth
43. you talk about food while you eat
44. you talk about food during every conversation
45. you never eat chicken if it’s served without the head
46. you never eat fish if it’s served without the head or the tail
47. you are used to eat greasy meat and bad quality food
48. you eat peanuts and other slippery noodles with 2 sticks
49. you can use chopsticks with both your hands
50. you don’t like cooked potatoes
51. you keep food in the freezer-compartment untill it vaporizes
52. you have eaten a popsicle made from peas
53. you never dry the dishes after washing them
54. you never gave a tip to waitresses
55. you fight with your dinnerparty over who will pay the bill
56. you are used to iron on a tiny iron-board
57. you always lock your bike
58. your hobby is copy/paste
59. you advise sick people to “dwink a litteuh watteuh” (read: drink a little water)
60. you leave your shoes at the doorstep
61. you have indoor-slippers available for visitors
62. you don’t sit behind a computer when you’re pregnant
63. you have a 10-liter water-reservoir in your living room
64. you abort as soon as you know it’s a baby-girl
65. you wear specially designated slippers in the shower
66. you talk chinese to everybody, even to people that don’t speak the language
67. you wear a plastic bag on your head when you drive your bycicle while it rains
68. you never use bills larger than 15 USD (100cny is the largest bill in China)
69. you always say ‘thank you’ and you never say ‘please’
70. you never help people
71. you refuse to present your busseat to elderly
72. you have no respect for other people or their belongings
73. you are not used to animals
74. you charge your phone with a universal transfo
75. you have a Murse (males.. right)
76. you seldom cut that one finger nail
77. your duty is to watch national ceremonies on television
78. you have to fly to say hello to your parents
79. you hand over your business card when you have never seen that person
80. you smoke in the elevator
81. you use your finished dish as an ashtray
82. occasionally you walk on the streets in your pyjama’s
83. you enjoy to show your weenie to other Chinese men at the public spa’s
84. you can load more objects on your bicycle than an American can place in his pickup
85. you sleep on a very hard surface, which you call your bed
86. you always bump into other people in supermarkets and on sidewalks
87. in general, you never pay attention to other people
88. you fart, pee, spit and burp in elevators and random public places
89. your can not wait your turn when people line up
90. you talk very loud on the phone because the person you call is far away
91. you have to ask permission to your government to relocate
92. you have a plastic protective cover sticking on your mobile phone
93. you live on top of somebody else
94. you live below somebody else
95. you don’t get frustrated over bad service
96. you have no word
97. you smile when people get angry, you will laugh when somebody is furious
98. you are certain that rain can actually kill a person
99. you don’t understand jokes and you have no sense of humor
100. – as an adult – you laugh with people that make animal-noises
101. you can not accept criticism, from nobody
102. you can never tell your opinion
103. you can not follow an agreement you made earlier, even if it’s written
104. you don’t trust people
105. you cheat on people
106. you are not a creative person
107. you eat from the same dish as your dinner-party because you don’t trust them
108. you like to “take” objects that all of a sudden belong to you
109. you act childish when you see a dog in the street
110. you have a small weenie
111. you like Japanese women
112. you hate Japanese men
113. you tell people how much you hate Japanese
114. you believe that all white people are rich
115. you believe that all white people cheat
116. you stare at people with a different skincolor
117. you don’t like black people and fat americans
118. you pretend to like white people
119. when you see a white face in the street, you must scream “Hello, how are you”
120. you believe that nobody should say something bad about China, even if it’s true
121. you consider life cheap
122. you are convinced that the Chinese Wall is visible from space
123. you have no political opinion, neither are you allowed to
124. you have no religious belief
125. you have no ethics
126. you don’t feel unique
127. you realize that your education is inferior to that of any education
128. you genuinely believe that Mao did a good job
129. you know that there is one country outside China : US
130. you want to speak English
131. your country has a famous pile of bricks… in a row
132. your country has a public forbidden city
133. you have never seen colourful graffiti, except for phone-numbers
134. you bet on pigeon-races
135. you spend crazy amounts of money on a game called mahjong
136. you have to spend the last few years of your life living in the house of your child because you spent all your money on a game called mahjong
137. you have the money for it, you would buy a Cayenne instead of a Carrera
138. you buy golden bracelets instead of stocks
139. you order the most expensive wine, no matter the quality
140. you travel alone, you certainly sleep in a sofa of a spa instead of a regular hotel
141. you own a badminton racket
142. your love small rooms with loud music (KTV – karaoke bar)
143. you watch silly television-soaps about concubines and rich hongkongers
144. you love that online game where you can grow and steal crops while you no longer live on a farm and have a job behind a computer
145. you are used to wedding parties that last 3 hours
146. you have 2 names : a chinese and an english one
147. you honestly believe that you have a cool english name
148. you can not spell your own english name
149. you have the urge to give foreigners a chinese name because you can not spell english names
150. you never heard of a band called U2
151. you prefer to buy a car from a foreign brand because Chinese brand is no good quality
152. you know how to write 5.000 different pictograms while the rest of the world uses 26 characters
153. you have to touch a lot of buttons on your keyboard to write a single character
154. you honestly believe that the Nobel prize should be awarded to the person who invented the Iphone (instead of Obamah) because now all Chinese people can send sms much quicker
155. nobody thought you the concept “logic”
156. you don’t use Google because you have an inferior, spammy search engine called Baidu
157. you are not surprised that another food-processing company has sold tons of poisenous foods on the market
158. you are not surprised that the government has secrets and that the government does not care about the living conditions of Chinese
159. you would open a shoe-shop if your neighbor recently opened one
160. you agree to a low salary because you only have to be present while on duty
161. you call the famous football player “Lola Ado” (instead of Ronaldo) and the famous rock ‘n roll star “Mao One” (Elvis) and you think Clint Eastwood used to be the president of the United States.
162. you sell empty dvd’s with a cover of a new released movie.
163. you love a 7-course dinner with nothing but mushroom-dishes
164. you assign numbers to everything
165. you own a company called “IVIKE” (instead of NIKE)
166. you installed an airconditioning unit in the conrner of almost every room
167. on occasional nights you spend long hours playing internet-games in a room full of like minded people
168. you spit out bones on the table
169. you have a hard time to remember what the client ordered and you never return money (applicable to waitress)
170. you are stubborn (applicable to male)
171. you look over the shoulders of a person in front of an ATM
172. you go to one place to buy rice and you have to cross town to find vegetables
173. you play cardgames for money on the sidewalk because you’re afraid the police would confiscate your house when you do it indoors
174. you want to live in Hong Kong
175. you consider foreigners stupid when they pay
176. you pull up your t-shirt and display your belly when it’s hot
177. you bring an extra sweater to the cinema
178. you never wait for people to get out of the elevator or out of the train/bus/metro
179. you address emails to your boss with “dear King”
180. you adore Hello Kitty and Winnie de Poeh (applicable to female)
181. Hello Kitty and Winnie de Poeh don’t bother you (applicable to male)
182. you believe that China is the best country in the world… simply because you have never gone abroad
183. you eat a lot of processed food without knowing exactly what the cook put in it, except for the certainty of yesterday leftovers
184. you have difficulties to form an opinion on matters and nothing bothers you
185. you lack personality, but then you are selfish and you have a rare ability to irritate people
186. you behave extra-friendly when you feel there can be money made
187. you walk on the street with a bird in a cage (the same way people walk their dogs)
188. you never wash your tea-cups
189. your favorite sports is to touch all the vegetables in the supermarket without buying any of them
190. in the supermarket, you place your shopping cart in the middle of the lane
191. it would take a long time to tighten all the screws in your house
192. you have never tried to multi-task
193. your hotmail is QQ
194. your email-address is a number
195. your phonenumber contains an eight or a six
196. you paid extra money for a numberplate that contains an eight or a six
197. you always say cheers before you take a sip
198. you have been to the army for a 15-day training when you were teenager
199. you drive your car clockwise on roundabouts
200. you walk carefully on sidewalks, looking out for loose stones and holes in the sidewalk
201. once in a lifetime you entered the train via the window
202. in the airport or trainstation, you usually carry many plastic bags full of food
203. you run towards taxi’s
204. you take a taxi and you get into the taxi before the other passenger gets out
205. you park your car anywhere
206. you need to catch that elevator when the door is almost closed
207. you know you can fit into the elevator, even when it’s full of people
208. you are proud about the Chinese culture, yet your wedding was Western-style.
209. you have never been to a Chinese-style wedding
210. you can function normally without chinese food
211. you act very quick when you notice a fly
212. you dare to drive in reverse on the highway
213. you have pillows on the backseat of your car
214. you know the meaning of EXPWY (= Expressway)
215. you get excited when you see red envelopes
216. you are surprised to hear chinese songs with english lyrics and you wonder if foreign people copy
217. you bring a red envelope to a wedding that writes “happy birthday”
218. you are used to push a button to leave the building or the room
219. you can only read a digital watch
220. you eat fruit with a toothpick
221. you become very confused when you see two forks, two knives and a spoon next to your dinnerplate
222. you use your mobile phone to watch high quality movies


PS. This article is not just to make a little fun about Chinese and their shortcomings, this is their common behavior, habits, personality and life-style.


(Source: http://chinapengyou.org/200-ways-to-know-if-youre-chinese/)
And last but not least, we're from Hong Kong because we copy some articles about China, written by strangers outside...